getting_better

[ Since birth. That amazes him that someone could have that power but then the next six words caught him by surprise. A twinge of anxiousness pinched at him but he settles it with a breath and a pause. ]

I'm, well, to some degree in certain respects. I'm afraid of any power to be honest, even my own.

[ Especially his own. ]

I had to be. My world is at war, and I'm a soldier. Was.

[ Memories flashed in his mind, a time in trenches amidst a fight with comrades at his side, then fast forward to before Lunatia came about and he was fighting again but alone and in the dark against enemies he couldn't see. ]

I've been fighting for almost my entire my life, and I have to fight alone in my world now. Be wary of every shadow, every person, every word they speak, every action they do, every creature small and large, cause I never knew what they could do or intend to do. It helps keep me on my toes and stay alive.

[ 'Alone' was the theme of the memories that were in his head. Travelling even in a group, he was by himself. Sitting in a camp, chatting with others, he ate by himself. And in combat, he was always pitted against impossible odds. ]

But I know it's not the same here. It's nothing personal it's...[ He shrugs with a sad smile. ]...Old habits.

[Shiho kind of regrets asking. She can understand being afraid of her own powers, of being terrified of hurting people with what she is even if she's never, ever made the step to being afraid of other's powers. Shiho knows how much it hurts when someone is frightened.

Besides, she's always been scarier than all of them.]

I'm... sorry. I'm sorry that you had to be afraid of your powers. [That his life had to be so difficult before meeting her.]

I've always... been afraid of my own powers too so when you were scared.... I think I overreacted. I'm used to people being afraid of me and... not trusting me because psychometers.... [She takes a deep breath and squeezes his hand.] ...They think psychometers cheat with their powers, that they use it to find out everyone's secrets, that they're creepy. I was worried you thought that I was creepy, that you couldn't... trust me.

[ Discrimination because of her powers? The thought makes him a little angry but then he puts it next to how she's had them since birth and the revelation makes his eyes widen in shock.

'Has that been going on since she was a child? Since she can read minds, does that mean she knows what people thought of her?' He tasted something bitter.

He knows a little of what it was like, but he was a loner as a child because of how he acted and not because of what he was. It's wrong to make someone feel like that. It was wrong for him to be afraid of her.

He let go of her hand after a pause but also leaned in, arms wrapping around Shiho and pulling her into a tight embrace. ]

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been afraid. I know I said it's a habit but, that's no excuse.

[ He needs to do better to make this work. God he wants this to work. ]

And for what it's worth, I'm not afraid anymore and I've never thought of you as creepy.

[At five years old, she thought she was a monster. Her parents' lives were forever changed because she'd been born the way she was and at five years old she was convinced her presence was not something that brought them joy. It brought them love, but it also brought them worry, anxiety and guilt and it had taken her years to be honest towards them.

And adults that weren't her parents had been terrified of her. So in response to it she had acted out. If she was going to be hated for what she was, then what was the point of being a good child, she had thought.

There's some of that in her expression when he lets go and she's not a precog and not prepared at all for him to pull her into a warm hug, holding her tight. She won't cry, she tells herself but her eyes feel hot and her shoulders slump as she buries her head against his chest.

She wants this to work and the fact that their thoughts mirror each other has her clutching on tight.]

...It wasn't all bad when I was a kid. My parents love me... and I had Kaoru-chan and Aoi-chan. It's normal to be afraid of me. But...

[She raises her head and it's clear there are tears.]

...But I'm glad you never thought I was creepy. I want.... I want this to work too. I want to be with you. I want to smile with you and talk things out, to... to have this for both of us.

[ Her response made him feel relieved. The fact she read his mind and his intent so clearly conveyed made him happy because half the time, he can't understand his own emotions. Save whenever something upset him, those are the ones he's most familiar with and always so clear cut. ]

"Us". [He says with a big smile as he wipes the tears from her eyes. ] I like that. I like it alot.

[ He embraces her again and kisses her brow. He never thought he'd ever get something like this, something that can be exciting, troubling, motivating, and happy all at the same time. He always thought it'd just be bullets, blood, and carnage until the end of days but now, now he's hoping the end never comes.

'I wish I could bottle this moment and keep it with me all the time' he thinks as he squeezes a bit tighter while the feeling in his chest grows brighter. ]

[It's so very reassuring that her powers could help him, even a little bit and that has her tearing up again so thank goodness he's wiping her tears away.

She likes the sound of "us" too. She likes the way he smiles at her, the tender way he touches her and she presses herself into his embrace, eyes closing as he kisses her forehead. Shiho had always hoped she could have something like this. Something supportive, gentle, accepting. The very opposite of what he thinks his end might have been, what her end might also have been on a certain timeline.

Her hands move to wrap around him, pressed to his back as she holds on tighter.]

I'm not going anywhere. We'll have more moments like these. Exactly like this. I'm here.

[ If his smile got any bigger his face may be stuck like that for a few days. Good thing people know him to always be smiling, though he wonders if he can pull of the 'I'm just in a good mood' for that amount of time. ]

Yeah...

[ The little voice of reason in his head was quiet for good while now, but now it reared it's ugly head. ]

Although maybe not exactly like this. Hopefully in the next few months, I'd have a nicer apartment.

[That earns him a little giggle, her hand soothing against his back.]

A nicer apartment isn't necessary, you know.

[But she does appreciate the effort and though her smile is still a little watery she leans in for a gentle, affectionate kiss.]

There, my donation to your apartment fund.

Thank you very much.

[ That giggle tickled him pink. A little surprising, but he thinks as long as it's from Shiho even the little things will do that to him. ]

Though I think you'll be donating so much to buy at least half of the apartment.

[ And following her lead, he returns the gentle kiss with one of his own. ]

[That little bubble of happiness has her smile widening further against his lips, her own heart feeling lighter, any trace of shadow, of doubt and sadness soothed over in that moment with just that. Her eyes are brighter, not with unshed tears but with a luminescent happiness when the kiss ends.]

Will I? Enough to buy half of an apartment? [A short, soft laugh and then she reaches up to brush his cheek with a finger.]

You haven't even taken me on a date, yet.

True. Let's correct that then.

[ His hands slide down her arms until he takes both her hands and help Shiho up as he stands. ]

Let's go out right now. Celebrate. Let loose. Maybe even have a few laughs along the way.

[Shiho lets him help her up and as soon as they're holding hands, she carefully squeezes his fingers, smiling.]

Okay. Let's go. [Thank goodness she's already dressed cutely enough for a date!]

Where do you want to go?

[ He turned his gaze upward to think. He knows that if he kept looking at her he'd never be able to think of something.

Definitely somewhere on level one and two for date spots. The PrismaPlace would be the convenient, shopping, food, and all sorts of entertainment but that seems kinda lame for a first date. He really should have paid attention to Natsumi when she talked to him about fads and trends instead of just half listening. Why is his head only filled with tactical vantage points, escape plans, locations in Caihong where he can skulk around in the dark, and other crap like that? He just wants to take her somewhere nice and get to know her. 'Dammit, brain.'

A good idea, or at least the start of one. ]

How about we take a stroll through the groves, then dinner at the Crystal beach? I know a shortcut and a nice place there.

[ He's confident in his choice of restaurant, and the groves has a bunch of stuff they could check out together along the easy trails. 'Good job, brain'. ]

[Shiho doesn't look through his memories but she can definitely see his thoughts, especially when the moonlacing from holding hands is fueling her psychometry.

It's endearing that he thinks she wouldn't have liked to visit tactical vantage points, or to know where likes to skulk in the dark. But it's also endearing that he wants to take her somewhere nice so she just patiently, cheerfully waits for him to figure out where he wants to take her on their first date.

'Good job, brain', indeed.]

I love the sound of that. I'll just let Kaoru-chan know I'll be a bit late coming home today and then we can go.

[She can't hide the smile on her face nor the butterflies she feels in her stomach though.]

[ He was nervous too but high he's getting from their moonlacing overpowers those queasy feelings. ]

Right. Then let me go grab -

[ Stopped short by the items at the corner of his eye. The disassembled gun. He pondered for a moment if he should take a few minutes to build and holster it but, he also didn't want to look or feel like he was ready for combat. No, he'll forgo bringing the gun. Tossing a dry cloth over it should be more than enough to keep everything in place. ]

-...I'll just get my coat while you tell your friend.

[Shiho is kind of reassured that he's as nervous as she is, though? It's a first for her to be going on a date that she truly, truly wants to go on (and isn't just going for the sake of free tickets/food).

She already has her communicator up when she sees him stop then turns, following his eyes to the gun.]

...Do you need help putting it away? [...also she might have a taser in her purse anyway??]

[ He gave one last glance at the gun he's carried through most of his career, how it fits so well in his hands, the weight of the recoil when he first fired it, how he steadily got used to power it carried. Then he looked at Shiho then her hands and found that more than a trigger, he'd like her finger around his and her hand to fit in his. ]

...No. It's fine. I'll put it back together later.

[ It made him just a touch blue, but he didn't need a weapon for what lies in store. Not for today at least. ]

[Shiho would have pointed out that he has two hands though. Even if his thoughts are cute and she finds it too endearing. After all, she can empathize with needing a weapon at hand at all times.

But also can empathize with... not wanting to have it at hand some times.]

...Okay.

[So Shiho makes the call.]

[ He's quick to retrieve his coat and linger a little to give her some privacy when she made the call, and a moment to process things. A relationship, romance, and a sense of normalcy. The reality of it is still pretty amazing. He wondered how the people he's left behind would have reacted? 'Yuka-nee was always trying to set me up with someone but...'

He couldn't help but chuckle. He tries not to think about them too often to keep the melancholy at bay but, for now, he'll entertain these ideas. He's much to high to be brought down by anything now. He waits quietly for Shiho, watching her and just listening to her voice. ]

[Shiho is definitely very animated when she speaks to Kaoru. They are, after all, best friends and have been since they were five years old. There's a lot she'll let Kaoru get away with saying that she wouldn't let anyone else say to her.

With an embarrassed huff after the conversation, she turns off the communicator to go and slip her arm around his.]

That Kaoru-chan!

[ He doesn't know exactly what was said but he does have an idea. Friends, what are you going to do? They say things. ]

That went well. Let's go.

[ He says with a smile while heading out the door, properly locking it behind them before leaving the building. ]

It sounded like you're friend was happy for you.

[Kaoru is Kaoru, and Shiho wouldn't have her any other way. She curls her fingers, resting her hand against his jacket as she walks with him.]

Of course it did and why wouldn't she be? She knows I'm happy.

[Although!!]

When we were little she was a lot clingier though. But we both kind of were. [They'd been all the other had, after all.]

[ He's happy too but hearing it from her feels good. ]

So you've been friends for that long, huh? That's nice. Does she have powers like you as well?

[Shiho can't help but to bask a little in those positive feelings she can see in him, leaning a little closer.]

I've known her since I was five years old. And she does. That's how we met, at a daycare for espers.

[Though just really for the most powerful of espers which ended up being her, Kaoru and Aoi and then no one else.]

[ A daycare for espers, he wonders what that even looks like. A teacher showing kids how to bend spoons with their minds, or levitating objects. ]

Does she have the same ability as you?

[ The tingle of the moonlacing was subtle but pleasant as they walked. Many thoughts swirled in his head, mostly around Shiho, some about her powers, and the rest about the future. He wanted to know so much about her but didn't want it to sound like he was interviewing her. Who knew conversing was so hard when you focus on it so intently? ]

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